Where did my room go?

It is way less then a week until I leave on my trip to New Zealand. I'm excited, I'm stressed, and I'm still not packed.

In my head I thought I would be further along then I am. There were piles building for the past week, items I didn't want to forget, piles for my carry on, things to give to people, and I figured a pile for my pack would emerge in there. It didn't until this morning.

I went through my clothes and packed my bag. Then remembered I needed shoes and unpacked. I put in a few items, take one out. It reminds me of the phrase which goes something like "To not look over done, look in the mirror and remove one item before leaving the house." I keep looking in the mirror.

My room looks like my dressers and closet spewed all my clothing everywhere! But it makes me ask, what would you not be able to leave behind?

It's NaNoWriMo!

Last year I discovered a non-profit organization that host a month long writing fest, National Novel Writing Month, for those of us who have the bug. It is set up to prove you can write a 50,000 word novel when you set your mind to it. I didn't "win" last year, but that's ok. I'm going to try harder to win this year. The prize? Just the joy and knowledge that you completed a novel.

I've come close to completing a novel. And when I say close I mean half way. It was a silly story, just some fluff I had a dream about and something countless romance novels have written about before. I have read countless romance novels, so I know what I'm talking about. It was not the first work of fiction I wanted to complete.

Every writer hopes to write something that people want to read. It is, at least for me, a very personal thing to write down your ideas and thoughts, no matter the format, and put them out into the world for others to read and criticise. Because it doesn't matter how good we think something is, someone else will find a fault with it. This works as a block for me and part of the reason I didn't finish last year. I read over and re-think my work too often and lose focus on my plot to continue on. I am learning to fix this.

But I think a main reason I have not completed a work of fiction is timing. I just never found the time to work on it, I really need to make it a priority in my life, and I never have before. I also felt I didn't have a space to work where I live, which for me is a major deterrent for writing. I wasn't inspired or motivated.

So what's changed this year? Nothing. In fact, here I am planning to move to another country and I still sign up. Realistically, I don't think I'll finish 50,000 words by November 30th. I'll be lucky to reach 25,000. But I like the idea of putting everything else aside and going after that dream, whether you can write or not, and think it is pretty awesome.

And who knows, with my long flight I might actually have the time to make 50,000 words.

I won't be here for that.

Soundtrack:  Nicki Minaj featuring Rihanna- "Fly"

My work visa arrived!!! It's sooo pretty, all shiny and official!!!
I'm not sure if you can tell, but I'm pretty excited. I wanted to take a picture to show everyone, but thought better of it, as there is information I don't think would be smart to post...

Needless to say, this is really happening...I'm moving to New Zealand for a year. It hasn't hit me yet. In my mind I still have a ton of things I need to do before I pack and leave, though I know the time will be here quickly and before I know it I will be at the airport waving goodbye. But it hasn't hit me yet.

That is not to say it hasn't hit those I am leaving behind. They are starting to realize I will be gone after Thanksgiving. They won't be able to count on me to complete a project after that, be able to work a random day, or even meet up for coffee. As it stands right now, they are more upset about this than I am. Then again, I could be in denial.

I do have moments when I think "Oh, I won't be here for that." These times come about mainly when I'm watching a movie preview or TV show. I don't know why it occurs to me then, even I think it's weird that it does. You would think these thoughts would come about while talking to friends and family, co-workers about upcoming projects...those things don't bother me. In fact, I'm kinda looking forward to no being home for Christmas. Now that really makes me sound weird, but here's the explaination (and I think you will agree). Chrsitmas is a stressful time, not for me mainly, but for just about everyone around me. People are rushing after work to the stores to purchase gifts, wrapping and tagging those gifts so they can be given to the right person, and making plans in the rest of their limited spare time to party with friends and family. There are meals to be organized and prepared and end of year projects that need to be completed. And just about every year I build everything up in my head and get disappointed in some way or another.

But not this year. This year I am not making any plans. I'm not buying any gifts (sorry family, you'll just have to do without). I'm not cooking anything or attending any holiday parties. And I'm perfectly fine with that.

At least in my state of denial I am.